Editor’s Note: September 2010

Tobin Bennison

Article Category: Editors Note 1 Comment

Well I don’t know about you, but that was one bitch of a summer. And at the risk of sounding slightly perverse, I’m happy to see the back end of it sashaying sluttily into September.

I’ll concede that it’s hard to see the point of suffering when you’re in the midst of it, and there’s all that garbage about hindsight providing 20/20 vision, but even if I live to be 90, damned if I’ll ever be able to make sense of the Summer of 2010.

I take with me some fond memories of time spent with my family, but beyond that, I’ll remember only anguish, pain, frustration, penury and boredom, separated here and there by fleeting moments of rage and disgust punctuated by spells of mind-melting heat.

If it weren’t for my close relationship with God, I don’t know if I’d have the strength to ring in the New Year. You see, God speaks to me, and his words have always been a source of solace in troubling times.

So you can imagine my surprise when I recently found out that God has been talking to other people behind my back. And telling them different things to boot.

I’m far from cracking the case, but right now I’m thinking either Glenn Beck is lying or God is. And seeing how I’m not one for casting controversial aspersions, I’m pretty sure that God is the liar in question.

I mean, why should I doubt Glenn Beck’s word? This is a man who recently drew an undetermined figure of minions numbering somewhere between 85,000 and 1 million to the steps of the Lincoln Memorial to hear him speak about God, the troops, children, God, America, George Washington, and God, and some other stuff designed to make people feel foolish for criticizing. And a miraculous flock of geese even flew overhead during his rally. And what does God give me? An audience comprised of my wife and two small, bemused children poking listlessly at yesterday’s casserole and a trio of bedraggled, pigeon-like things pecking for chinch bugs in my sunburnt front lawn.

How long has this been going on, God? Why didn’t You tell me that your gospel of charity and love had in fact been perverted by progressives and radicals as part of a grand plan to redistribute wealth and spread virulent strains of socialism? Why didn’t You tell me that the end was coming? I would have saved up and prepared. I’d have bought gold. I’d be more than happy to convince people that Woody Guthrie was no better than Joseph Goebbels had You instructed me to do so.

My question to You is: What in the hell are You telling billions of other people? Why have You confused me so?

I thought we were tight…

He’s one catty fellow, this God person.

Humbly,

The Editor.

Potentially Related posts:

1. Editor’s Note: February ’10
2. EDITORS’ NOTE – Issue 7, Volume 4, September 2008
3. Editor’s Note – Issue 7, Volume 5, September 2009
4. Editor’s Note – Issue 11, Volume 5, January 2010
5. Movie Reviews: September ’09