Article Category: Editors Note 1 Comment
If 2010 was a befuddling episode in the history of civilization, then the decade it capped off could well be described as a multi-volume epic translated from the original Farsi into Mandarin Braille by a Basque orangutan using only the “Y” and “F” keys on a rusty Remington.
And if that sounds like something Dennis Miller might have said, it’s because he did, according to an entry I just posted on Wikipedia. And until someone puts in the effort to refute it, there it stands as citable fact.
Everyone will tell you that 2010 and “the aughts” were defined by nerds — and to some extent they were — but to my way of thinking, the previous decade was marked more by the damage wrought by these wolves in geeks’ clothing. When it wasn’t misinformation you were getting, it was a deluge of trivia.
Not only have nerds now made everyone with a cell phone insufferable know-it-alls, they’ve also managed to sap all the mystery and excitement out of human conversation. Gone are the days when you’d argue about whether is was Lee Van Cleef who starred in “12 Angry Men,” or Lee J. Cobb who played the officer in “The Dirty Dozen.” Days might go by — weeks even — before you shot up from the bed like a bolt in the middle of the night shouting “Lee Marvin!” By that time, the guys at the bar had forgotten you’d bet them $7,000 that you were right. They’d probably forgotten the whole discussion in the first place. And how were you going to prove it anyhow? Bringing in the VHS box would have been seen as nerdly, right?
But no more. Now everybody’s an expert, and no one dares cast doubt on any subject for fear of being schooled by some cretin with an iPhone and a handlebar moustache.
Here’s to 2011 ushering in a new era of normality and social competence.
Goodbye, nerds. Don’t let the egress portal hit you on the gluteal protuberance on the way out.