Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Romeo, Like many of your correspondents in the past, I’d like to use your column as a forum for a problem I feel has gone unaddressed for far too long in this area: mixed race relationships. My girlfriend, who I’ll call “Julie,” is a fantastically attractive and highly successful African- American woman and I’m a young, professional white male. I’ll admit that Julie is something exceptional — I do love her after all — but all that doesn’t... [Read more...]
By: Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Mr. Pomodoro, I am an inveterate self-pleasurer — an onanist, in more technical terms. I don’t walk out the door in the morning without going at it at least three times, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I engage in the practice in the car on the way to the office. I then spill my seed again in the restroom before sitting down at my computer, and sneak away from my desk throughout the day for about 10 sessions of self-gratification before clocking out. I’m not even counting... [Read more...]
By: Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Romeo, I’m in big trouble. My girlfriend caught me cheating (for the third time) and this time, she’s really angry. I mean really, really angry. The thing about her though is that she’s one of these altruistic, hippy types, which means that she’s pretty forgiving. But forgiveness with her comes at a really lame cost. The first two times, she made me do community service — like volunteering and stuff like that. Now, this time, she wants me to give to some lame charity.... [Read more...]
By: Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Romeo, You don’t know me, but I see you every Monday, Wednesday and Friday stocking up on pasta at the local Publix. The first two times I saw you were pure coincidence, but by the third time I realized that this was a pattern of yours. Ever since then, I’ve gone religiously to the supermarket and straight to the aisle where I know you’ll be — about 9 a.m., right? — in hopes of striking up a conversation with you. But I always lose my nerve. I’m not some crazy... [Read more...]
By: Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dearest Romeo, I know that love advice is your area of expertise, but I also happen to know that you are also a pretty worldly fellow — a connoisseur of good music, art and food. I’ve also come across columns where you namedrop fine wines and rare, foreign liqueurs. Wine happens to be a new passion of mine and I am looking for some advice on the subject. I think I have a pretty good palate and have tasted some great vintages in my day, but I’m not so conceited as to think that I... [Read more...]
By: Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Sir, I have a bone to pick with you. A few months ago, you offered some advice to a young man who wrote to you about his philandering habits and his concern that they were damaging his relationship with his fiancée. In your response, you dismissed his wandering eye as part of healthy male behavior and suggested he allow his dalliances to continue unabated. After making a few terribly rude jokes about the abandoned fiancée’s subsequent re-entry into the realm of singlehood, you added... [Read more...]
By: Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Romeo! You seem like a very busy guy. What do you do in your spare time when you’re not giving out advice or making whoopee? “Gareth” (via email) A very good question, Greg. I am indeed a very busy advice columnist and whoopee manufacturer and usually spend my infrequent downtime on my patio overlooking the resplendent Atlantic Ocean or working on my dock, which is exceptionally large and always seems to require gentle yet rigorous attention. However, a few poor investment choices... [Read more...]
By: Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Mr. Pomodoro, As an 93-year old woman, I’ve seen a lot in my day — the first automobile, the miracle of flight, a man on the moon — but nothing could prepare me for the way TV shows are going these days. Every time I turn it on, I hear foul language and see men and women in various states of undress. Why, just the other night within the span of just 30 minutes I saw three flashes of breast, a pair of nude buttocks, and a very steamy lovemaking scene that left little to the... [Read more...]
Dear Romeo, Everyone has a physical attribute they’re proud of. I myself have turned my most glaring flaw into my biggest asset. Ever since I first entered puberty, I was cursed with abnormally large hips and an enormous posterior out of keeping with my relatively thin legs, thighs and torso. I didn’t have much to brag about in the chest department at all — still don’t — but “baby’s got back,” as they say. From grade school on, I’ve been called... [Read more...]
By: Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Romeo, What do you think about Facebook and MySpace? I was against these sites at first, but after caving recently and joining both, I’ve found that my romantic prospects have doubled. Of my 227 friends, at least 150 of them are eligible, attractive men. I didn’t join to find a mate, really (well, maybe), but I found the hook-up potential from these sites irresistible. Since I signed up two months ago, I’ve been flirting online constantly and have been on three really great dates... [Read more...]
