Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Romeo, I’ve been working as a mechanic for over 25 years. Over that time I’ve come across a fair share of beautiful women. The problem is that I’m sometimes afraid to ask them out because I’m afraid that they will only see me as sweaty grease monkey who’s not good for anything but turning a wrench. What would you do? “Jim” Merritt Island I think you’re selling yourself too short, Sal. I know of many women who’d like to have a grease monkey... [Read more...]
Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Romeo, The most fantastic girl in the world dumped me on Thanksgiving and I still can’t get over it. I don’t know what to do — I’ve never felt this low in all my life. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I don’t know where to start looking. I want to start 2011 off on the right foot. Pete R. Satellite Beach It’s true, Roger, that there are plenty of other fish in the sea, most of them probably even more fantastic. And with my help, you will find them!... [Read more...]
Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Romeo, I think I can safely speak for many other Romeo fans when I say that I’m curious to find out more about your childhood in Italy, specifically your own Christmas memories. You’ve shed some light on your formative years in a few of your initial columns, but it seems you seldom do any more. Please give your many readers and female admirers some of your Christmas cheer. Margery Faraday-Smythe Queen of The Red Hat Society of Floridana Beach What a wonderful request, dear woman,... [Read more...]
Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Romeo, My marriage is being torn apart by my husband’s addiction to Internet pornography. I caught him at it once and reprimanded him, but he won’t stop. Thanks to his last “session,” we’re now in a trial separation. Romeo, I honestly wish it were one, real woman I had to contend with. That would certainly make it easier than going up against millions of the ones he sees on a daily basis. Please help! K.L. Merritt Island I would have no problem going up against... [Read more...]
Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Romeo, I love my old lady, don’t get me wrong, but the wild behavior that first drew me to her has gotten out of control. No sooner does “Ellen” have a few beers than her top comes off! Like, anywhere; last week it was while we were waiting to be seated at Outback, and the week before that at our friends’ 20th anniversary at a white tablecloth restaurant. It was a turn-on at first, but now it’s earning her a lot of unwelcome attention. Whenever I call her out on... [Read more...]
Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Romeo, After years of dating and suffering in pointless, immature relationships, I’ve finally met the girl of my dreams. I’ve dreamt about meeting someone like Ashley my entire life. She’s smart, funny, successful and beautiful, and she shares my beliefs about life, love, religion and politics. Though we’ve only been seeing each other for two months, we’ve already made plans to marry and have even discussed having lots of children. Everything about her is perfect,... [Read more...]
Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Romeo, In my capacity as a diplomatic intern with the U.S. Embassy to the DPRK (more commonly known as North Korea), I have met and worked with many brave dissidents. One young woman I’ll call “Kim” escaped over the border recently into China, and I’ve been working with her closely, helping her get acclimated to her new life. As you might expect, I’ve fallen in love with her. Kim is a beautiful, highly intelligent girl whose courage in the face of oppression is... [Read more...]
Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Dear Romeo, My wife, Mary, has worked from home for the past year or so, and as a result, she’s gotten more and more lazy and, dare I say it, much heavier due to her incurable sweet tooth. She rarely gets out of the house or lifts a finger to do anything; I do all the shopping, errand running, and cooking. I consider myself to be a pretty good cook, and she seems to like the meals I prepare. But the other night, something outrageous happened. I’d just cleared the table and went into the... [Read more...]
Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Inquire of Romeo: June ‘10 • Romeo Pomodoro • Oi Romeo! Yer the kitten’s knickers, Romeo, you bargy dago bastard! Never in all me natural have I had such a turkish as when I first read your larf-aloud palaver. Me and the lads was in Port Canaveral two fluffs back on shore leave on the tiddleydum and split our bloody sides gargling at the pair who fell off the horse’s in the middle of a starry shag. As it happens, this bird back in cherry’s got one of the blokes, Tommy, in... [Read more...]
Romeo Pomodoro
Article Category: Inquire of Romeo
Romeo, I have a big crush on the girl who works at my local café. I stop there every morning on my way to work to get a cup of coffee and a muffin and to see “Daisy’s” sunshiney smile. Last week, she punched the last hole in my frequent friendly customer card, gave me my free mocha, looked up at me, and gave me what I took to be an unusually bright, toothy grin. I noted a certain gleam in her eye and couldn’t help myself from complimenting her on her loveliness at that moment... [Read more...]
