The A-Team

Hollywood has brought us yet another television remake with “The A-Team,” but this time they’ve employed veteran indie filmmaker Joe Carnahan (“Smoking Aces;” “Narc”) to write and direct. Even though he’d cast two fantastic actors — Liam Neeson (“Batman Begins;” “Darkman”) as Col. John “Hannibal” Smith and Bradley Cooper (“The Hangover;” “Wedding Crashers”) as Lt. Templeton “Faceman” Peck — I was still on the ropes about this movie and was hesitant to watch another remake destroy my childhood memories. You see, when I was a kid, I loved the A-Team. I had it all — the t-shirt, the lunchbox — and I pitied all fools. So as I walked into the theater, the title credits appeared and I prepared myself for my inner child’s heart being broken. But I can tell you in all honesty that my anxiety was for nothing, as this was the best television adaptation of a film I have ever seen. The action was extreme and over-the-top, but was ultimately expected, and even appreciated because of the comedy it was sure to ignite between the Team. The highlight of the film was the lunatic-redneck-pilot Murdock (my favorite character from the show, played here by South African actor Shartlo Copley of “District 9″) whose crazy antics stole the show. Some people might be a little miffed about UFC champ Quinton “Rampage” Jackson’s interpretation of Mr. T’s Cpl. Bosco “B.A.” Baracus, but what would you expect? He’s not an actor, he’s a UFC fighter, and Mr. T was a bouncer long before he was the original “Bad Ass.” Overall — even though you might not believe it — this film was well cast, well written, and fun. And I can safely say that I pity the fool who doesn’t see “The A-Team.”

Grown Ups
Directed by Dennis Dugan

Adam Sandler (“Little Nicky;” “Big Daddy”) brings us another of his Sandler-styled movies. This time, he’s called in some of his legendary friends from their SNL years: David Spade (“Joe Dirt;” “Lost and Found”), Chris Rock (“Down to Earth;” “Pootie Tang”) and, of course, Rob Schneider (“Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo”). When I went to see “Grown Ups” I have to say I didn’t expect much more than your basic, run-of-the-mill comedy. What I got was an old-school Sandler film that was a little weird and a little family oriented. I think the problem with my outlook on the film was that some of the roles where strangely cast — Rock as the whipped, stay-at-home dad and Rob Schneider as the holistic MD with a fetish for much, much older women. Spade and Kevin James (“Paul Blart: Mall Cop”) played the same roles they usually do — Spade as the woman crazy single guy and James as the overweight down-and-out dad. Of course Sandler has placed himself in the lead as Lenny Feder, the rich film agent with a way-too-hot-for-him wife and three spoiled kids. The overall premise of the movie was to teach the gathered children the kind of friendship and fun that can happen during an Indian summer, and that matters too. But did I mention that the movie was weird? Like the French kisses between Schneider’s character and his 65-year-old wife? Or when James’ 4-year-old son still breastfeeds? Not funny weird, just weird. I must seem like I’m coming down on “Grown Ups,” but it does have its upsides… like Salma Hayek as Sandler’s wife. I’m not sure what she did for the film, but hubba-hubba. Also, Sandler feels the need to insert the most direct circumstances — death; divorce – into his comedies, but he does have a great outlook and everything always seems to work out in the end. And I like that. If you like those quirky Sandler flicks many have come to know and love, then you’ll probably like this one. Just prepare yourself to be a little weirded out.

Get Him to the Greek
Directed by Nicholas Stoller

In “Get Him to the Greek,” director Nicholas Stoller brings us a sort of sequel/spin-off of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” (his previous film). In the similarly-plotted “Greek,” young studio executive Aaron Green, played by Jonah Hill (“Superbad;” “Funny People”), talks his label owner Sergio Roma (Sean “P. Diddy” Combs) into putting on a reunion concert with failed musician Aldous Snow (British funnyman Russell Brand). First off, “Get Him to the Greek” is very funny and is definitely worth the ticket and popcorn. I’ve always loved Jonah Hill — not just from “Superbad,” but in almost everything I’ve seen him in. Even though his character here is a little more quiet and reserved, he still pulls out his trademark rampant outbursts of non-stop line delivery. Also, I’ve had a lot of my friends tell me about their hesitance to see this film merely because of P. Diddy’s casting, but I have to say that I was very surprised with how funny he actually was. (There’s one scene in particular involving him and a psychedelic drug called “The Jeffrey,” and Diddy had me laughing and rolling out of my seat.) However, I feel I must warn you that on a few occasions there were some very dramatic scenes that came out of Brand’s character due to his drug addiction; they were a little out of the box for this kind of comedy, yet they didn’t affect my favorable impressions of the film overall. “Greek” was one of those drug-induced adventure movies that had me in a catch-22; I had to go to the bathroom, but didn’t because I hated to miss anything. But with all the laughing, I had to go. Having said that, “Get Him to the Greek” almost made me pee my pants. Go see it.

Robin Hood
Directed by Ridley Scott

Ridley Scott, well known for directing stunning historical epics, has given us a new version of the classic Robin Hood tale. Previews of raging battle scenes and stars Russell Crowe (as Robin) and Cate Blanchett (as Maid Marian) had me filled with anticipation for this new twist on the popular legend. I was surprised to discover how different “Robin Hood 2010″ was from the tale I’m used to, especially in regards to critical positions of the commonly accepted story, and these key changes may be too much for some viewers. I think that if I hadn’t entered the theater with thoughts of the classic Robin Hood swimming in my brain, I’d have enjoyed the movie much more; if the studio had called it “The New Robin Hood,” I’d have been less shocked. Now if you can separate yourself from that issue, then you might just find yourself entertained by a pretty good battle flick. As it was, I did enjoy it, but still found my opinions bouncing up and down throughout the duration. Crowe did a terrific job most of the time, but seemed to be barely applying himself in several key scenes. Blanchett was awesome, in keeping with her knack for nailing each of her “strong woman” roles. Unfortunately, there just wasn’t enough cohesiveness throughout the “Robin Hood” to make it the great film it should have been.

Iron Man 2
Directed by Jon Favreau

I actually felt a strong buzz of anticipation for this hotly awaited sequel, which may just be the biggest movie of the year. But I think the buzz had everything to do with the charismatic Tony Stark character and the equally charismatic Robert Downey, Jr. and less to do with the gadgety Iron Man suit(s). Downey, Jr. did another terrific job in the role of Stark, so good that it seemed like the character was made expressly for him. More often than not, big budget movies have to decide between explosive special effects and great actors, but “Iron Man 2″ was perfectly well rounded — it offers great special effects and terrific acting. It has the same feel, sense of humor, and flashy style as the first, which is important to the overall success of any franchise (case in point: “Batman”), but went the extra mile by beefing up the supporting cast to include Sam Rockwell (“Choke;” “Matchstick Men”) as Hammer (Starks’ closest thing to a business competitor), Don Cheadle (“Brooklyn’s Finest;” “Ocean’s Thirteen”) is now the new Rhodes, and Scarlett Johansson (“Lost in Translation;” “The Island”) stars as Natalie, Starks’ sexy new personal assistant. The only negative criticism I have is that there was far too much advertising and crass product placement for my taste — but even then, the products themselves were really cool. Most sequels are never as good as the original, and that’s certainly the case with “2,” but the new cast and attention paid to character development make it pretty close to “Iron Man’s” equal. Do watch the first before seeing this one though, and you’ll enjoy it considerably more.

Date Night
Directed by Shawn Levy

At first, “Date Night” looked set to be your basic run-of-the-mill comedy stuffed into the can to turn a quick buck. The fact that it stars it Steve Carell (“The Office;” “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”) and Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) gave me hope for some hilarious moments, and for the most part, I wasn’t let down. They’re both such comedic geniuses that they ably carry a boring plot while managing to make it much funnier than it must have appeared on paper. In the film, Carell and Fey are Phil and Claire Foster, a married couple who are both productive and extremely efficient parents and spouses. Both agree their life is a boring one, but they’re not quite sure what to do about it. Upon hearing that two of their close friends are getting divorced, Phil and Claire try to spice up their marriage, starting with a date night in the city. When they’re unable to get a table at an upscale restaurant, they decide to steal another couple’s reservation, which puts them in a rather sticky situation with an organized crime syndicate. The story itself is nothing worth leaving your house for, but the comedic synergy between these two talented comedians make this a laugh-filled ride, highly worthy of an average date night.

Clash of the Titans

The new remake of “Clash of the Titans” is sure to get bad reviews from most critics, and while I can’t disagree with their reasoning, I must admit that despite the poor acting and awful plot I enjoyed it tremendously. I have fond memories of the original and recall watching it on TV often back in the ’80s, as it seems to have been played twice a year between different stations. For those of you unfamiliar with the original version, “Clash of the Titans” is the story of Perseus, the son of Zeus. Perseus, who is no fan of the Greek deities, is caught in a power struggle between his father and Hades (god of the underworld). Though he detests both, he’s obligated to take sides in order to honor his adopted family and to keep Hades from destroying the earth. I once heard that the original was considered by some film authority to be the worst movie ever made. Even as a child I noticed its flaws, but loved it nonetheless; its clunky stop-motion animation and weak acting were the source of its charm. Director Louis Leterrier, whether by luck or concerted effort, took the same original approach with this modern-day version of the cult classic. Yet one of the problems I had with this remake was the lame attempt at making it 3-D well after the movie was in the can. With out the appropriate cameras and planning, the 3-D version seems hastily thrown together in order to capitalize on the current visual trend. Casting “Avatar” star Sam Worthington in the role of Perseus was another poor decision. I wasn’t sold on his talent in “Avatar” and was further convinced by his lackluster performance here. The crew obviously hadn’t intended to make a low-grade B-movie, but you certainly should approach it with that mindset. Taken with a grain of salt, “Clash of the Titans” is a good time, best enjoyed in good ol’ fashioned 2-D.

Kick Ass
Directed by Matthew Vaughn

The folks in Hollywood, true to their nature of milking trends until moviegoers can take no more, have made yet another superhero movie. “Kick Ass”, adapted from a comic created by Mark Millar and John S. Romita, Jr., is the story of everyday people who become vigilantes. While “Kick Ass” is essentially another unoriginal idea, it is does stand alone in its genre. This is the story of humans who decide to become superheroes, unlike those few who are traditionally born with innate superpowers. The film also acts as kind of a spoof, which is well-timed, considering the current onslaught of comic book-based movies. I found “Kick Ass” to be far more action-packed than I expected, and it earns its solid R-rating. This isn’t a child-safe Spidey-inspired offshoot, but a raw, violent, swear-filled film. As such, “Kick Ass” doesn’t warrant plot discussion or acting critique, but I don’t believe either subject was ever intended as a selling point. “Kick Ass” is all about attitude and teenage rebellion meant for a video game-obsessed generation. It is, however, a fun movie, and you’ll probably find yourself enjoying it when you’re not busy being disgusted by the violence and language spoken by the young actors. I will say that the film does aim to address the degradation and desensitization of America’s youth, and while it is food for thought, it doesn’t keep “Kick Ass” from being a something of a letdown.

The Losers
Directed by Sylvain White

“The Losers” is another film based on a comic book, one of same name by Andy Diggle. It revolves around a group of elite government operatives (among them Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, and Columbus Short) who are double crossed and then hunted because of what they know. Of course, they are out for revenge, and fight to win back their lives. Director Sylvain White did a good job of taking a bland, overdone plot and making it cool. He saves “The Losers” from being forgettable by giving it a slick visual style, efforts that rescue it being a generic, “A-Team”-type outing. “The Losers” is pretty mind-numbing, filled with cheesy effects, bad one-liners, random, ensemble casting, and an utterly predictable plot, but somehow Evans manages to make it entertaining. If you like chaotic action films, you’ll like “The Losers”; it’s a bit like “Mission Impossible” crossed with one of the “Ocean’s Eleven” franchise films with out the stellar cast, budget, or high-quality special effects. If the senseless action genre isn’t your cup of tea, then it’s likely you’ll feel like a loser yourself once the ending credits start rolling.

Alice in Wonderland

“I’ve never been so captivated being let down.”

Once again, Tim Burton got me all wound up on hype, lured me in with Johnny Depp and the promise of visual spectacle… and left me utterly disappointed. The tool he used this time was his rendition of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland.” Burton, who hasn’t really excited me since “Beetlejuice,” took what could have been perhaps one of the most amazing character-driven movies ever and stripped it of any soul by overdoing it in the CGI department and patching poor dialogue together. The acting, script, plot, and individual scenes offered such poor continuity that I had to ask myself whether Burton has any talents beyond an eye for set design. Luckily, when it comes to the purely visual, Burton is amazing. It’s such a waste not to have put the talent of the actors involved to better use, especially when one of them is Johnny Depp. Nonetheless, “Alice in Wonderland” is a spectacular feast for the eyes, and as such, works great in 3-D.

Brooklyn’s Finest
Directed by Antoine Fuqua

“What is it with Richard Gere and prostitutes?”

“Brooklyn’s Finest” is exactly what you expect it to be. Directed by the guy who brought us “Training Day,” “Brooklyn” is a classic cop movie, in which we get to see the human side of a bad cop. Loaded with great actors, including Richard Gere, Wesely Snipes, Ethan Hawke, and Don Cheadle, the movie offers a lot of appeal, and it will deliver — for the most part. It’s stocked with all the tried-and-true cop film tropes: backstabbing, secret agendas, moral crimes… Oh, and Richard Gere falls in love with a hooker. While there’s nothing spectacular about this “Brooklyn’s Finest,” there’s also nothing overwhelmingly bad about it. It will take its place among the other simply good representatives of the cop film genre, despite its horrible ending.

She’s Out of My League
Directed by Jim Field

“Oddly good and undeniably funny.”

With a cast of next-to-nobodies and unmentionables at best, you’d think this R-rated tangle of every date movie cliché in the book would be a surefire flop. However, I was shocked to find myself genuinely laughing a lot. The acting was as bad as the plot, but the actors had fun with what they were given, thereby saving the movie from being completely repulsive. I must congratulate the cast for taking horrible lines and making them hilarious. “She’s Out of My League” is definitely a sleeper; it will get a slow start, but people will hear that it’s funny, and before you know it, most of us will have seen it at least twice. Expect to see it floating around shortly on DVD and pay-per-view.

Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief

“Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief” is the fun, heartwarming tale of a teenage boy who lives a in a low-income neighborhood with his loving mother in the home of a drunken and abusive man. Through the culmination of freakish events, Percy discovers that he is a demigod, part of an elite group of people (all of whom are teenagers, for some reason) who are the half-blood offspring of the Greek gods of mythology. If that were not amazing enough, Percy himself is also something of a rarity among the group, a son of Poseidon (god of the sea) and one of the three ruling brothers of Olympus. When Zeus discovers that his lightning bolt has been stolen, he blames Percy — which is probably due to the Olympian family’s tendency to be overthrown by their children. Percy, true to the demigods’ own peculiar tendencies to become heroes, must find and return Zeus’ lightning bolt in order to save the world from being torn apart by an Olympian war. The acting by Logan Lerman (Percy), and cohorts Catherine Keener and Brandon T. Jackson was on the level of one of the “Chronicles of Narnia” or “Harry Potter” films, and as such, should do well with that target audience. The movie did attempt to say something about the state of family values in the world today, but I don’t know if director Chris Columbus was trying to make a point about their degradation, or whether he simply accepting them for what they’ve become. Overall, “Percy Jackson” is a fun, quality movie that’s also safe for the kids.

The Wolfman
Directed by Joe Johnston

“The Wolfman” may just be the movie I’ve waited my entire life to see. Director Joe Johnston made all the right decisions while making this adaptation from the 1941 horror flick of the same name. During an era in Hollywood when every studio is clamoring over which movie or television show to remake and improve through their own skewed vision, Johnston wisely keeps the same spirit, look, and acting motivation of the original film. Casting Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins against each other was another great call. Del Toro did a great job of expressing the struggles suffered by his “inner beast” and Hopkins was amazing as his emotionless father. Both carried themselves in the mannered, antiquated acting style of cinema’s Golden Age, and with such expertise that they kept “The Wolfman” from deteriorating into corniness. The decision to use more makeup and less special effects could have been a dangerous one were it not for the skill of the ensemble cast. I will say that the love connection between Lawrence Talbot (Del Toro) and Gwen (Emily Blunt), his dead brother’s fiancée, could have been developed and portrayed better, but luckily for them, no one came to see a romance. People go to see a movie like “The Wolfman” to see a man change into a slathering beast and to see plenty of savage gore. On that count, the movie is a huge success. Go see “The Wolfman” and prepare to experience a new era of filmmaking that doesn’t let any of your modern expectations down.

Shutter Island
Directed by Martin Scorsese

I must admit that initially I was a little hesitant to see “Shutter Island.” I wasn’t looking forward to a scary, suspenseful film, but being unable to deny myself a dose Martin Scorsese, I gave in. I was relieved to find “Shutter Island” to be easy on my nerves and suspenseful in ways that only supported the plot. Leonardo DiCaprio did a great job (as he always does under Scorsese) playing the part of Teddy Daniels, a U.S. Marshal investigating the disappearance of a patient from the country’s most unique mental hospital. Teddy’s investigation soon deepens when other issues (such as the death of his own wife) come to light. This movie is certainly of the plot-twisting variety, but I am sorry to say that any film savvy member of the audience will quickly unravel the mystery far sooner than the film intended. That being said, “Shutter Island” is still an awesome effort thanks to Scorsese’s touch. Without his talent, “Shutter Island” might have been forgettable, but Scorsese seamlessly melds his creative passion and technical talents to captivate the audience — and it works. “Shutter Island” is a hard movie to review, because for one, it’s difficult to not give away any of the plot surprises, and secondly, because Scorsese has a knack for making movies that leave you thinking about them long after they’ve ended. Scorsese films are never cut-and-dry; there’s always room for interpretation and always plenty of food for thought. “Shutter Island” is absolutely absorbing, and a great film. Scorsese, its real star, lives up to his lauded reputation, and this is a stellar addition to his filmography.

The Book of Eli
Directed by Albert Hughes
In this post-apocalyptic action/drama flick, Denzel Washington wanders a scorched and barren earth as a man with a divine mission. Washington’s character, Eli, has possession of the last bible on earth, and he has dedicated his life to preserving the word of God. The plot of the movie is relatively slow (and doesn’t quite support the surprise at the end of the film), but an action scene always seems to pop up just in the nick of time to save “Eli” from being a terribly boring movie. I could have used less of the slow bits and more of the lightning-fast scenes, but the ratio is not too far out of whack. This is a good film, though not because of the plot or acting, but because of the cinematography. The movie is shot in sepia tones, giving it a very cool, grayscale feel. “Eli” should be seen in the theater in order to get the most out of what makes it such a great experience; viewed in any other medium might make it considerably less entertaining. Something like “The Postman” meets “Road Warrior” mixed in with a little bit of “Waterworld” and a dash of some old-fashioned John Wayne, “The Book of Eli” is a cool flick, and one well worth the admission price.

Up In The Air
Directed by Jason Reitman
There have been many movies of late that aim to entertain us with stories of let-downs, heartbreaks, and other glum events that either turn out to be turning points or devastations for the main characters. Jason Reitman’s (“Juno;” “Thank you for Smoking”) character-driven drama “Up In The Air” is the latest such film of a growing sub-genre. It’s far from exciting — and certainly lacking in “wow” factors — but the understated story is completely captivating. The familiar quirks of lead man George Clooney do a good job of keeping you entertained during what could otherwise be an unbearingly boring movie. “Air” is the story of Ryan (Clooney) who travels the country working for a company that is outsourced to do the dirty work of laying off employees of large firms. He loves his life of travel and lack of commitment, but all that is about to change when he meets someone he could see himself settling down with. To make matters worse, his company begins to evolve by streaming lay-offs via the internet, eliminating his traveling and throwing his comfortable life into a blender, thereby forcing him to rethink his beloved life philosophy. Anna Kendrick plays the role of Natalie, the young inspiring girl who is heading up the corporate transition and has to travel with Ryan to get a feel for what it’s really like to fire an employee. I was very much unsatisfied with Kendrick’s acting, but as the movie progressed and her role developed I became more forgiving. However, I still cite her as the lone sore spot in the film. Character dramas often work best as rentals, but I think “Up In The Air” is worth paying the money to see on the big screen. It offers plenty of the kind of funny only George Clooney can offer, and its emotional tone is highly entertaining. To see so many people loosing their jobs is hard to watch, especially considering the current economic climate, but it’s also something that makes this such a great movie — and so easy to relate to.

The Lovely Bones
Directed by Peter Jackson
“The Lovely Bones” takes an admirable shot at committing scarce and fleeting feelings about the unexplainable to film, and Peter Jackson pulls out his “Lord of the Rings” tool kit to make it a fascinating diversion. But despite Jackson’s talented touch, “Bones” did not sit well with me. I left it with a vaguely bad feeling, and I generally don’t enjoy feeling bad. I should also add that I don’t enjoy darkly scary or suspenseful movies. “The Lovely Bones” doesn’t strictly fit into either of those categories, but the feelings it evoked were similarly discomforting. If you’re a person who likes to experience maudlin emotions, then you may find this a masterpiece. Of all the well known actors in the film, Susan Sarandon’s role of the Ab-Fab alcoholic stepmother is the only one worth mentioning; there were times when she absolutely stole the show. The plot of the film is unique — thanks to its being adapted from the bestselling novel by Alice Sebold — and took a different turn than one might expect. It’s the story of a young girl’s horrible murder as portrayed from her afterlife perspective mixed in with the emotions of loved ones coping with the tragedy. Stanley Tucci plays the unnerving murderer, and fits the role perfectly, all the way down to the creepy mustache and glasses. “The Lovely Bones” is well made, and should count as a resounding success for all parties evolved, the viewer included — as long as that viewer enjoys wallowing in negative emotions.

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Ninja Assassin
Directed by James McTeigue
One of the best things about “Ninja Assassin” is that it doesn’t star Jackie Chan or Jet Li. Any attempt to make “something” out of a “nothing” film by casting it with well-known actors wouldn’t have allowed me to ignore its negative facets, and would have taken away from what the film was trying to accomplish. Though the obscure Sung Kang represented the spirit of a ninja well, it wasn’t his acting that made “Ninja Assassin” enjoyable, but rather the way it was filmed like a comic book is read. Director James McTeigue did a great job of capturing the comic book story-feel without many deliberately choppy scenes. “Ninja Assassin” certainly has many shortcomings, but is successful at least in its portrayal of a trained killer. The flashbacks of Kang’s training were highly entertaining, as were the ways in which it portrayed his cold-hearted emotion. “Ninja Assassin” isn’t a great film, but it is cool — simply because ninjas are cool. And it’s ninjas that make this movie fun, in the same way that jedis made the latest “Star Wars” films somewhat respectable.

Invictus
Directed by Clint Eastwood
“Invictus” tells the “inspiring true story” of how Nelson Mandela joined forces with the captain of South Africa’s rugby team to help unite their country. Newly elected President Mandela (Morgan Freeman) knows his nation remains racially and economically divided in the wake of apartheid’s collapse. Believing he can bring his people together through the universal language of sport, Mandela rallies South Africa’s underdog rugby team (Matt Damon and friends) as they make an unlikely run for the 1995 World Cup Championship. “Invictus” tries hard to be amazing, but never really grasps its essential message. The moments that came close to that goal failed to make up for the film’s many other shortcomings, thus making “Invictus” merely “good.” This being the latest Clint Eastwood offering, one can’t help but see it as the latest in a string of works that are never as great as the could be, i.e. “Letters from Iwo Jima” and “Grand Torino.” When it’s all said and done, you’re glad to have seen them, but wish you’d have gotten a bit more out of them.

The Men Who Stare at Goats

“The Men Who Stare at Goats” is a “sort of real” movie based on the book of the same name by Jon Ronson about a seemingly outlandish military program during the end of the cold war that saw the training of paranormal “Jedi” warriors. With a cast made up of such powerhouses as George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Kevin Spacey, Jeff Bridges, and Stephen Lang, I had high expectations for this film. I expected an off-the-wall comedy, but what I got was a film that was neither completely hilarious nor very action packed. The film just seemed to float around those genres. The movie opened up by stating that “More of this is truer than you will actually believe,” and that set the stage for the combining of two plots, one that involved Bob (McGregor), a journalist hoping to prove his mettle by getting a scoop on the war in Iraq, and Lyn Cassady (Clooney), a retired “Jedi” called back into service by paranormal powers. As the two plots twist into one, both Bob and Cassady experience some ridiculous adventures on the way to completing a vague spiritual journey. The film had moments of hilarity, but I was hoping for a lot more. Despite the letdown, “Goats” is completely entertaining. The entire cast seems to be having a great time with their characters, and makes the idea of a Jedi army whose main weapon is peace a believable concept. Something like every other Iraqi War movie mixed with a “Star Wars” spoof, “The Men Who Stares at Goats” is a funny film fans of the cast will enjoy.

2012
Directed by Roland Emmerich

In “2012,” Director Roland Emmerich teams up with $250 million dollars to give us what is essentially the King of all end-of-the-world movies. It’s based on the premise that the Mayans had it all figured out when they designed a calendar that stamped and expiration date of December 21, 2012 on the planet. The movie doesn’t go into the reasons behind the date’s actual significance, and I am so glad they didn’t; because after leaving the theater, you can’t help but feel like you’re part of a generation that will live to see the end of the world. Including scientific calendric details from a dead civilization that didn’t even have streetlights into the plot would have ruined that ominous feeling. The plot, such as it is, is simply the glue that holds all the actions scenes together. I will say that John Cusack and Amanda Peet do a great job of making sure that the flim evokes emotions other than just the shock and awe served up by the action scenes, but the acting, overall, is not fantastic. That said, there are plenty of reasons to pick the movie apart, but the truth is that “2012″ isn’t so much a story, but an experience — and one you won’t want to enjoy at home; it’s one you need to see on the big screen on a Saturday night with all the snacks you can afford. (It is a very long movie.) It does include a government conspiracy to go along with the natural apocalypse, which makes for something more interesting than just the typically freaky weather and catastrophic events. In fact, “2012″ was so entertaining that I wasn’t even bothered by Danny Glover being cast as the President. Rest assured, it will keep you on the edge of your seat. My only problem with “2012″ is that I wasn’t able to see it on an Imax screen.

New Moon
Directed by Chris Weitz

“New Moon,” the sequel to “Twilight” picks up right where its predecessor ended. The main character Bella (Kristen Stewart) is graduating high school, and is dealing with getting older… (I think she turned 17?) On top of everything, the teenage love of her life, Edward (Robert Pattinson), the vampire, has just dumped her. And what does a teenage girl do when she’s dumped by a vampire? Seek solace in the company of a werewolf, of course! “New Moon” is simply sticky with sappy teenage emotions. While it’s not hard to empathize with poor Bella, the drama created by the teenage mind is still hard to swallow, and left me feeling slightly sick. Of course the vampire comes back into Bella’s life, and like any guy, has a seemingly good excuse for leaving. This sets the stage for some vampire/werewolf tensions, and even more confusion for Bella’s adolescent psyche. One of my problems with “New Moon” is that I found myself empathizing with Bella a bit too much, and that left me somewhat annoyed with myself. So would I recommend seeing this movie? Of course! It’s got vampires and werewolves in it, doesn’t it?!

The Invention of Lying

Ricky Gervais, the British actor best known to Americans for his role in the original “The Office,” stars in this story set in a world in which no one has ever told a lie or been anything but completely honest. Loser Mark (Ricky Gervais) leads a miserably depressing life but discovers the concept of being dishonest, and soon becomes a kind of prophet among a deceit-free population who believe everything he says. Gervais is well supported by Jennifer Gardner and Rob Lowe who match his trademark subtle facial expressions with understated skill. The development of the love connection between Grevais and Gardner’s characters drives the plot, and both do a great job of adding an emotional layer to the comic proceedings. I had high expectations for this movie and thought it would be much funnier than it actually was, but I found myself smiling and chuckling frequently all the same. “Invention” is a good, wholesome matinee date movie and worth seeing for its clever comedic slant within the romantic comedy formula.

Where the Wild Things Are
Directed by Spike Jonze

“Where the Wild Things Are,” an adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s classic book, centers on the time in a young boy’s life where reality has yet to evolve from an imaginative concept into the cold, hard slog that confronts everyone on a daily basis. If you’ve read the book, then you’ll know the plot and direction the movie will take. If not, then recall your transition from childhood into adolescence and you’ll soon begin to empathize with the struggle of young Max, “King of the Wild Things.” Max (played by Max Records) is a boy who doesn’t understand the world he’s growing into, and his wild passion and imagination have a firmer grip on him than the world trying to force itself on his young mind. In the last mental journey of his childhood, Max sails halfway around the world to an island inhabited by terrifying yet wonderful creatures with personalities that help Max gain a better understanding of himself and what he’s going through. I watched this film with a deep fondness for the story I knew as a child and was not disappointed. “Where the Wild Things Are” is a great cinematic experience and an emotional movie that may help stir up some passions and wildness age and experience may have suppressed. Great for adults and as safe for the kids as the original story is, “Where the Wild Things Are” is sure to become as classic as the book itself.

Zombieland
Directed by Ruben Fleischer

“Zombieland,” the latest in a spate of undead comedies, is surprisingly watchable, and may even be better than “Sean of the Dead,” another example of the sub-genre you’ll be unable to help comparing it to. The story revolves around the four main characters: Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), who are simply trying to survive a zombie epidemic that has all but eradicated the human race. There’s nothing new about the plot, and it finishes in exactly in exactly the way you think it will, but an excellent Woody Harrelson is both believable and very funny, making “Zombieland” a bit more than your average knock-off. In fact, every character in the movie is well-cast; you really get the feeling that they all enjoyed working on this film. Eisenberg is extremely reminiscent of “Superbad” star Michael Cera, and while it seems the role was written for him (I may have even enjoyed the film more were he in it), Eisenberg carries it off with hilarious skill. There’s even a guest appearance by Bill Murray that’s a nice treat and is sure to please everyone. Overall, “Zombieland” is an “A” movie with a real B-movie feel. Even if you’re not a fan of zombie flicks, this is one worth seeing.

9
Directed by Shane Acker; 2009

“9″ is the post-apocalyptic story of nine burlap sacks created by a shamed scientist to carry the key for the continuation of mankind, or at least the essence of mankind. Director Shane Acker originally conceived “9″ as a silent short for his grad school thesis, and his original film won a student academy award. While that sounds a little something like a presidential award for physical fitness, it landed the silent project a shot with Focus Pictures and the help of dark genius Tim Burton. You can definitely feel the touch of Tim Burton here in the eerie darkness and the whirlwind of action and emotions the characters face. There was something at work in many of the scenes that reminded me of “Batman,” “Edward Scissorhands” or “Beetlejuice.” The plot isn’t all that amazing, but the visual effects of the animation and the underlying darkness of the movie were entrancing. Don’t be tricked into thinking this is a kid’s movie, though. While it is clean, it’s also very spooky. Overall, “9″ is worth seeing on the silver screen with a big bag of popcorn and butter juice.

The Informant
Directed by Steven Soderbergh; 2009

In “The Informant,” Matt Damon covers the screen of almost ever scene with poor acting, a crumby wig, dirty mustache and about 20 lbs. more weight than he should carry — and does an amazing job. At first casual reckoning, you might not have much to say for Damon’s acting, but when you realize that his character is pathological liar, you begin to see him as terrific and very believable in the role of Mark Whitacre, Archer Daniels Midland V.P., criminal, super spy, and loving husband. You’ll either like or hate this “based on a true story” movie, and while it’s unlikely you’ll love it, it’s certainly not a reason to stay away. The story itself does tend to drag in spots because of its focus on corporate whistleblower Whitacre, but ultimately succeeds by offering constant subtle plot twists that begin to snowball as the movie progresses. Director Steven Soderbergh certainly does a great job in evoking the early ’90s setting; it often reminded me of how that era was the ’70s of my generation (if you are under 30) — all the bad ties, awful hair and abundance of smoker-friendly establishments. Though the move may not perform that well in the box office, count this movie as a success for both Damon and Soderbergh.

Extract
Directed by Mike Judge; 2009

Joel (Jason Bateman), the nerdy scientist and owner of a flavor extract factory in “Extract,” is rich and unhappy. He has a stale job, a stale marriage, and life is beginning to wear him down. In his search for relief, he’s thrown off of his normally balanced routine by the arrival of sexy scam artist Cindy (Mila Kunis of “That ’70s Show”) and his drug-addled bartending friend (Ben Affleck). “Extract” contains a lot of potential hilarity, but writer/director Mike Judge (“The Office;” “King of the Hill”) steers it clear of outright guffaws in favor of dexterous plot twists and character evolution. To that end, Bateman is perfectly cast as a character who gives us the kind of funny we have to digest rather than one that bursts from our sides. A good cast of supporting characters helps keep you entertained while awaiting the next turn of understated comedic events. Knowing what you’re getting into before “Extract” cues up on the screen will enhance your enjoyment of it that much more.

District 9
Directed by Neill Blomkamp; 2009

In “District 9,” producer Peter Jackson takes a break from hobbitual bromance to give us a glimpse of what it’s like to live in a Cuban immigrant camp in the 1970s… whoops, I mean an alien internment camp in South Africa. The movie portrays an alien population whose spaceship broke down over Johannesburg. When the stalled-out vessel is boarded by qualified humans and T.V. cameras (I think Geraldo was there), they find the craft loaded with starving, scared aliens. Mankind, clearly moved by their pitiful state, immediately calls for humanitarian aid. The aliens are moved to a camp on the planet’s surface for better care, but as they slowly recover, the humans begin to find that they’re actually quit unruly and quickly shut them up in a concentration camp. The movie succeeds in portraying a wide range of emotions, from empathy to xenophobia, and through them, it almost seems conceivable that this situation could happen. Similarly, both Jackson and director Neill Blomkamp do a great job of making the movie visually entrancing. Even the main character, Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley) is very believable, playing the cowardly desk jockey who’s placed in charge of evicting the aliens from their shanty town in the middle of Johannesburg to a tent city 200 kilometers out of sight and mind from the general public. In the process of evicting them, Van De Merwe meets alien Christopher Johnson and is infected with an extraterrestrial virus that makes him both a subject of public interest and public enemy number one. The relationship between Wikus and Christopher as he faces betrayal from his fellow humans adds depth to what at times can be a fairly thin plot. Something like a cross between “Enemy Mine” and “The Fifth Element,” “District 9″ is, however, packed with action, and might be the best film of the year so far on several levels.

G.I. Joe, Rise of the Cobra
Directed by Stephen Sommers; 2009

The movie adaption of the Hasbro toy franchise and cartoon is sure to bring back some fond memories to many people. It was not only one of a generation’s staple cartoons; the action figures were many a boy’s primary toys. The original cartoon wasn’t just another mind- numbing “electro-nanny;” it was filled with role models. Those elite soldiers were not only super rad, but they took time from saving the world to teach us valuable life lessons. It’s because of “G.I. Joe” that I know that kids should stay in school, that it’s dangerous to play on construction sites, and that I should never try to jump my bike over a power line that’s fallen into a puddle of water. So when you see the movie, you have to decide: are you going to be a nostalgia Nazi and be upset because Duke is in it and Flint is not, or are you determined to revive the feelings the original Joes gave you all those years ago? Taking the latter course, “G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra” is a spectacular action film. It’s packed with explosions, fights, and thrills. The characters lack depth, but they’re portrayed well for the most part, especially considering that each is based on an action figure. The most exciting part of the movie is the nonstop clash between Snake Eyes (Ray Park, who played Darth Maul in “The Phantom Menace”) and Storm Shadow (Korean actor Lee Byung-hun). Duke (Channing Tatum) falls short of the legacy he has, and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) was just okay; he captured the character, but could have been played by a more believable actor. The plot is not something to be concerned with. It doesn’t matter. Cobra attacks, and the Joes thwart them. Don’t bother with the movie if you don’t care about the cartoon, toys, or comic books. Unless of course you absolutely love ridiculous action scenes. Now you know — and knowing is half the battle.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
Directed by Neil Brennan; 2009

“The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard” is a comedy that seems hastily thrown together, and relies on a satirical style that’s been worn to tatters by every Will Farrell movie since the late ’90s. The story breaks down like this: Don “The Goods” Ready (Jeremy Piven; “P.C.U.,” “Entourage”) is the guy used car dealers call when they need vehicles sold. Ready travels with a motley crew of renegade used car salesmen and one woman to a small town to save a car lot that looks like every lot you’ve ever seen. That’s it. That’s the plot. Ready is haunted by a disastrous event that went down in Albuquerque, but that’s just flour in the gravy. The event is meant to connect you with the character, but fails miserably in its aim. All in all, the shortcomings of Ready are only there to give him a reason to run away at the most crucial moment so that he can return as a hero at the last second. But as the character always fails, the audience fails to think of him as a hero. Piven has been known to steal many a show as a number-two man, but he’s disappointing as the head honcho. The recipe for the movie is obvious: take as many small-time funny guys who happen to be hot right now, cram them into a movie, and try to ride the lightning. While each of these funny people (among them Ed Helms and Craig Robinson, both of “The Office”) are all people looking for their big break out, this movie may hurt their careers more than it helps. But it’s not these actors’ fault; we know them all to be hilarious. Lets just say “The Goods” is not director Neil Brennan’s (“The Chappell Show”) finest moment. You’ll get a few funny jokes, but not enough to save it from merely being a great reason to support your local video store.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Directed by David Yates; 2009

THE BEST PART of “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” is that Dumbledore dies. That wrinkly old pedophile got what was coming to him. Nah — just kidding, Dumbledore rules. Which brings us to the real best part of the latest Potter installment: its comedy. Though arguably the most tragic of the films (Snape goes from lovably mean to awfully evil by murdering Dumbledore), the only memorable scenes in “Half-Blood Prince” are those when one of the kids is drugged up on potion (Harry on liquid luck and Ron on love potion-spiked chocolate are sights to see) or anytime the adorably absurd Luna Lovegood is around, speaking nonsense and wearing funny hats. Though enjoyable, but with none of the mystique or adventure of the previous films, the rest of “Half-Blood Prince” is really rather bland. Most of it involves Draco Malfoy brooding in shadowy corridors. Anyway, THE BIGGEST PROBLEM is that Harry doesn’t really do anything. Check that — he doesn’t really WANT anything. He does what Dumbeldore tells him to do, but never with the deep desire that seems to propel him through the other movies. What of the fear, the rage, the sadness, the isolation and the power that filled him in “Order of the Phoenix”? What of his unspoken but ever-evident personal mission, to avenge his parents and defeat Voldemort once and for all? It comes up, but only briefly, and only at the end. Perhaps we should just take this movie for what it is, a mostly reliable vanishing cabinet meant to transport us from the world of the first five films to the world of the final two. And those are sure to be magical.

Orphan
Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra; 2009

THE BEST PART of “Orphan” is the reveal at the end, details of which this review has no intention of spoiling here and now. Let’s just say it comes at the right time, in a way that just kind of works. No, “Orphan” doesn’t have one of those “Sixth Sense,” “Usual Suspects,” or “Fight Club” moments that change your perception of the entire movie and give you the overwhelming urge to see it again if only to notice the clues you missed the first time around. It’s more like an episode of “House,” with one of those mystery solved blanks filled in, “but we still need to treat the patient and work on our own personal issues”-moments. “Orphan” offers no big “Wow!” but it certainly earns a respectable, “Ohhhhh…” at least. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Orphan” is that there’s not nearly enough, as they say in high school English class, “falling action.” In other words, the denouement is wanting. “Orphan” does a commendable job at making you care about the family that is torn apart (quite literally) by the addition of little orphan Esther. So when she’s, er, out of the picture, it’d be nice to see the, er, remaining members settling back into their everyday lives. What happens to the deaf girl? The injured boy? Mom? Still, “Orphan” holds up as a decent thriller. It’s up there (or rather, hanging there in the middle) with films like “What Lies Beneath,” which is about as good as forgettable movies get. See it once, maybe on video, enjoy it, and never think of it again.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
Directed by Michael Bay; 2009

THE BEST PART of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is that despite being a gargantuan steaming pile of absurd, inane, and profoundly disappointing tripe, it’s remarkably watchable. The plot might be ridiculous, the characters hackneyed, the humor second-grade at best, but something about this nineteen-hour CGI/Megan Fox extravaganza keeps the eyes — nay, the brain — nay, the entire body — utterly transfixed in a state of entertainment catatonia. “Revenge of the Fallen” is like a trainwreck that morphs into a giant gorilla that proceeds to destroy the nearest children’s hospital using its enormous penis as a battering ram. It’s tragic. Slightly sick. And such a high level of strange that you can’t help but find it deeply –almost chemically — compelling. Viewing this movie excites the senses and attacks the sensibilities so thoroughly, you can’t help but leave the theater feeling slightly less than human. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Transformers: Revenge of Michael Bay’s Id” is not it’s hyper-masculine undertones or overall stupidity, but that much of it is just in bad taste. Forget the giant alien robot monster with wrecking ball testicles, and the fact that all the women are sexy bimbos or airheaded mothers — you can’t overlook the mind-blowing offensiveness that is the twin Autobots, Skids and Mudflap. This pair of slang-slinging clown cars are what you get if you mix slapstick violence, bad urban thug stereotypes and minstrel-show era racism, and animate it. Unforgivably awful, especially since it’s meant for kids.

The Hangover
Directed by Todd Phillips; 2009

“The Hangover” is the latest release from the guys who brought us “Old School,” and on that fact alone the release was preceded by high expectations for a gut-splitting good time. The cast doesn’t include any comedy heavyweights on par with Will Ferrell or Vince Vaughn, but they’re not completely unknown, and it’s reassuring to see Ed Helms (“The Office”) playing the part of Stu, the successful square of the group. Bradley Cooper (“Alias”) holds everything together as the somewhat nihilistic leader, and the little known Zach Galifianakis steals the show in his breakout performance as the oddly dim Alan. The plot doesn’t tread any unfamiliar territory either, as it centers on a drunken Vegas bachelor party, a kidnapping, and dramatic slide into the altar for a just-in-time wedding and the salvation of a happy life. What is unique about this movie and helps hold the audiences attention is the fact that we’re all just as clueless as the characters as they try to remember what actually occurred during the drunken bachelor party which resulted in the disappearance of the best man the day before his wedding. The real-time progression of the movie makes each new turn in the story wholly captivating. Some of the jokes may suffer from poor delivery and lack of support from other characters, but the twists — appearances of tigers in bathrooms; Mike Tyson; and the eccentric and vengeful Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong of “Pineapple Express”) — will keep you more than entertained. Though “The Hangover” lacks star power, inventive plot development and the extreme stretch of R-rated standards make it one of the funniest movies of the year so far.

Land of the Lost
Directed by Brad Siberling; 2009

“Land of the Lost” is yet another film adaptation of a popular ’70s television show from the folks in Hollywood, who seem to be perennially short of original ideas. It’s a little bothersome that the movie is only vaguely similar to the original on the surface. Ticket purchasers who are fans of the Sid and Marty Krofft series and hope to take their children to see an innocent movie: Beware. The film, which is on the edgier side of PG-13, is based on the salvation and vindication of paleontologist Dr. Rick Marshall’s career. Marshall (Ferrell) manages to shake his food addiction when Holly (Anna Friel) approaches him as a scientific peer and convinces him to complete his “Tachyon Amplifier,” a machine that mistakenly opens a vortex which takes him to a parallel dimension, along with Holly and the white-trash Will (Danny McBride) (“Pineapple Express,” “Eastbound and Down”). Ensuing events revolve around Dr. Marshall saving Earth from an invasion of lizard-like Sleestaks, but that’s not what’s important. What is important is that Marshall sticks it to Matt Lauer, who embarrassed him on the “Today Show,” and that Will gets to meet a lot of beautiful girls when it’s all said and done. The remainder of the movie basically involves Marshall being chased around by an irate T-Rex and humorously interacting with the indigenous caveman/monkey Chaka (Jorma Taccone). I don’t know how much longer we’ll all be able to put up with Farrell’s stereotype-laden humor; I think this one just manages to squeeze it in before the clock runs out. I’d recommend that you wait for “Land of the Lost” to hit the video store — but we are in a recession, and know how badly both the economy and Hollywood need your $7.50.

Up
Directed by Bob Peterson and Peter Docter; 2009

The latest in a string of filmic coups by the folks at Pixar, “Up” features yet another inimitable character in the curmudgeonly Carl Fredricksen, a 78-year-old balloon salesman who’s spent his life dreaming of South American exploration. When his wife Ellie dies, Carl (voiced perfectly by Ed Asner) finds himself faced with eviction from the house they shared. So, in the fantastic fashion only pure animation can deliver, he inflates an enormous bouquet of balloons and sends himself aloft in search of adventure and fulfillment. Joined by an incorrigible young Wilderness Explorer named Russell, Carl embarks on a incredible journey that finds him facing an old hero, a pack of culinary-minded dogs and a mythical talking bird who has a penchant for chocolate. As tangled as it all sounds, deft storytelling and heartwarming characterization lift “Up” far above its peers, and raise the bar for filmmaking — of any genre — miles higher than you’d expect. It also offers one of the most heart-wrenching scenes ever committed to celluloid: an inventive, sepia-toned montage of Carl and Ellie’s courtship and life together. If you’ve anything like a pulse in you, you’ll weep just like I did.

By Ryan Deiseroth
www.radiobackblast.com

Angels and Demons
Directed by Ron Howard, 2009

THE BEST PART of “Angels and Demons” is the smart way it is framed as a sequel to “The DaVinci Code,” which, as Dan Brown readers know, is not true to the novel. A relatively minor narrative change, its effect on the tone is major, creating a level of conflict between professor Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) and the Vatican that would have otherwise been absent. This tension, in combination with director Ron Howard’s uncanny ability to be simultaneously showy and subtle, makes “Angels and Demons” far more exciting than its predecessor, and arguably a better movie all around. At the very least, “Angels” doesn’t seem to have the same heaviness as “DaVinci,” and in that way, is more honest. It knows it’s a thriller, not a thesis, and delivers the action and suspense moviegoers expect from an early summer release. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Angels and Demons” is that it might be — to use a word uttered by two of its clergy characters when requesting Langdon’s discretion in dealing with Vatican secrets — too “gentle.” Despite its money, power and checkered past, the Vatican of the film takes on the persona of a frail old man victimized by jaded modern world views and technological advances that have gotten out of control. Sure, it sort of suggests that there’s room for improvement in the Catholic church, especially in terms of its relationship with Science, but it never really commits to a position. Then again, it is just a movie.

Star Trek
Directed by J.J. Abrams, 2009

THE BEST PART of “Star Trek” is its gut-wrenching, tear-jerking opening sequence, the best start to a movie since “The Dark Knight” reintroduced us to Joker. In under ten minutes, we get: a vivid “Star Trek” universe that is both faithful to the original and masterfully re-envisioned; detailed yet sparse exposition that fills non-Trekkies in and satisfies die hard fans’ need for something both authentic and new; and film-making prowess (in the form of emotion-laden action) that makes the mythical world of the U.S.S. Enterprise feel more real than ever before. And then it gets even better. We meet the crew and learn to love them all over again. We are treated to some awesome effects. We are reminded that technology isn’t always a solution, but a problem. Aside from a couple of especially weird casting choices (Wynona Rider as Spock’s mom, Tyler Perry as a Starfleet admiral) and a tad too much self-awareness, “Star Trek” is as flawless a contemporary remake of a beloved classic as can be hoped for. It may not be the “Star Trek” you want, but it’s one you can’t help but enjoy. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Star Trek” is the also the biggest problem of popular small-screen drama, “Lost,” and its creator J.J. Abram’s insistence on incorporating time travel into the narrative. No matter how creative you are, you can’t explain away all the paradoxes and contradictions its possibility implies. As a result, it always feels like contrived creativity. It’s a bit of a cheat.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Directed by Gavin Hood, 2009

THE BEST PART of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” is — one can only assume — its source material. Because if there wasn’t something intrinsically compelling about the X-Men, and Wolverine in particular, there’d be nothing to like about this movie. If we weren’t pre-programmed by our culture (and pop-culture) to be fascinated with the plight of superhuman beings and their place in a corrupt and violent world that will never fully accept or understand them, we might walk out. But we can’t. We suffer through a weak story, weak characters, and even weak special effects (isn’t flawless CGI supposed to come standard with superhero movies?). Convoluted and slow, “Wolverine” feels like a poorly-made fan film written and directed by people who aren’t even fans. With none of what made the first three X-Men movies watchable, “Wolverine” is utterly disappointing. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Wolverine” is that the title character has no real purpose. Things happen to him. He reacts. There’s no driving force, no desire pushing him forward — he just does what he does. As a result, the climax is anti-climatic. Wolverine has the chance to exact his revenge on the people who have wronged him but he passes, and is instead forced to face off against the near-invincible Deadpool, with whom he has no real qualms. It’s pointless. We don’t care. Better luck next time.

THE BEST PART of “Adventureland” is that it’s not just another stupid teenage sex (and/or party) movie, as you might, for obvious reasons (due to the nature of the the director, the cast, the previews, etc.), be expecting. In actuality, it’s a rather deep (emotionally, not philosophically) and surprisingly relevant nostalgia comedy. It’s “The Graduate” meets “Dazed and Confused,” set during the height of Reaganomics, yuppieism, and synthpop. It’s basically “Freaks and Geeks” with college graduates instead of high school kids, as a movie instead of sitcom. Let’s go down the list: Paints a relatively complete (as opposed to a stereotypically one-sided) picture of ’80s culture? Check. Thematically focused on unrequited love with brief forays into the meaning and purpose of life? Check. Contains adequate references to sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll? Check. Features goggle-eyed Martin Starr as an awkward, yet witty dork who has trouble with the ladies? Check. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Adventureland” is probably the story — the soul of the thing — which flirts with originality, but keeps its feet firmly grounded in the mainstream. The predictable plot points and trite ending make “Adventureland” feel a bit like one of the carnival games it so prominently features — subtly sabotaged by the management so that it’s still fun, but without the prospect of you ever  winning a big-ass panda.

State of Play
Directed by Kevin Macdonald; 2009

THE BEST PART of “State of Play” is not the characters alone. Nor is it just the actors who play them. Fact is, it’s the combination of great characters and a perfectly conceived cast. Sure, seasoned investigative reporter Cal McAffery could have been personified by a Hanks or Hoffman, but not with the same rough charm as Russell Crowe. And maybe any of today’s starlets could have taken on the part of the novice reporter yet talented blogger Della Frye, but none with the same quiet confidence and understated maturity of Rachel McAdams. Together, they are electric and real and utterly likable; you’ll be as drawn into their tense, turbulent partnership as the complicated puzzle of a story they’re trying to piece together. That’s the second-best part of this movie: The plot. Like “All the President’s Men” or “L.A. Confidential,” “State of Play” is one of those mysteries you don’t bother trying to solve while watching. First of all, it’s always one step ahead of you. And secondly, you’re having too much fun being toyed with to care. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “State of Play” is that although McAffery and Frye solve the case and break the biggest story of their lives, no one really wins. Sure, his reputation is validated and hers is given a boost (he inserts her name before his in the byline), but there’s no big celebratory moment of triumph. Ah, well, such is the nature of journalism.

The Wrestler
Directed by Darren Aronofsky; 2008

THE BEST PART of “The Wrestler” is the direction of Darren Aronofsky, the renowned auteur behind “Pi” and “Requiem for a Dream,” who brings something entirely new to this wonderfully rich and touching story of veteran professional wrestler coming to the end of his career and life. Absent is Aronofsky’s frenetic, overtly abstract style. With “The Wrestler,” he takes a more laissez-faire approach. He lets the screenplay speak for itself, allows the actors to marinate in every moment, and gives no clues as to his artistic intent. He leaves himself out. And with that, Aronofsky shows the confidence and genius of a true craftsman. “The Wrestler” probably isn’t his coolest or most groundbreaking effort, but it’s surely his most powerful. Mickey Rourke (as Randy “The Ram” Robinson) and Marisa Tomei (as Cassidy, the stripper he loves) are nothing short of awesome, and the ending will knock you on your ass. Wrestling may be fake, but “The Wrestler” is as real as they come. It’s a must-see. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “The Wrestler” is The Ram’s relationship with his daughter. She hates him. He wins her over. She forgives him. He invites her to dinner. She accepts. He forgets. She completely disowns him. It’s all reasonable until that last part. Too much progress was made to believe a broken date could be the last straw.

The Transporter
Directed by Corey Yuen; 2002

THE BEST PART of “The Transporter” is that it’s not all action, all the time. Characters are given pause to talk to each other, to develop, to mosey through mundane moments (like having breakfast) in between dodging bullets, busting faces and driving really, really fast. This works on the film’s behalf for two reasons. First, it helps you know the steady, pragmatic Frank Martin (Jason Statham) and the fiery, pure-hearted Lai (Qi Shu), whose spontaneous romantic involvement would seem implausible if we weren’t instantly drawn to them as people. Second, it keeps the movie from veering too far over the line of creativity into the shoulder of corniness. Any more heavily choreographed, Jackie Chan-style fight scenes where the hero uses his surroundings to trip up, confound and disable enemy thugs with uncanny precision, and the novelty would be lost. As it is, there’s just enough. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “The Transporter” is the unnecessary death of two police officers. Mayhem and destruction are no doubt staples of every good action flick, but even in shoot-em-ups like this one, every death should be deserved or at the very least, justified. In this case, they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, namely the trunk of Frank’s car just before it blew up. It was just kind of sad.

Watchmen
Directed by Zack Snyder; 2009

THE BEST PART of “Watchmen,” thank the powers that be, was not the fight sequences. Though undeniably kick-ass awesome (and for various reasons cooler than those in “300″), they were overshadowed by the surprisingly brilliant direction of Zack Snyder, who really shows some cinematic chops with this epic sci-fi vigilante movie. The pacing, the craftsmanship and the attention to detail — all of them immaculate — make “Watchmen” a true standout among modern graphic-novel-to-film adaptations. Better than that, though, is that “Watchmen” is subversive, philosophical, gory and strange. It bends genre, crosses lines and challenges convention, taking both visual and thematic cues from masterpieces like “Star Wars,” “The Matrix,” and “The Dark Knight.” No, it’s probably not quite as innovative or entertaining as any of these. But in terms of artistic merit and stylistic genius, it’s right on par. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Watchmen” is trivial. It’s not even worth mentioning, really. Alright, fine: The biggest problem with this movie is the sheer amount of blue penis that was waved in our faces — er, I mean shoved down our throats — er, I mean on display for all the world to see. You know the floating blue guy from the previews? That’s Dr. Manhattan, and he pretty much goes commando throughout the entire movie. It’s creepy. It’s distracting. It’s just too much to swallow. Don’t let huge blue penis stop you from seeing “Watchmen,” however, as the movie features some equally remarkable flesh-colored breasts as well.

Slumdog Millionaire
Directed by Danny Boyle and Loveleen Tandan; 2008

THE BEST PART of “Slumdog Millionaire” is that it’s different. Not all that new, really, or particularly innovative, inflammatory or otherwise remarkable — but different. Perhaps it is the film’s total lack of white Americans, Hollywood celebrities in particular. The absence of a Cruise or Crowe, an Anniston or Adams, helps us believe in the characters we’re presented with. We don’t know the actors from talk show interviews or tabloid gossip, so we’re able to luxuriate in the fictional lives of the people they so boldly portray. This, coupled with the ultra-cool direction of Danny Boyle (see “Trainspotting” for another example) gives “Slumdog Millionaire” a special authenticity that is truly captivating. We don’t just watch a poor Indian kid remember his tragic past in order to recall the answers to “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” trivia and reconnect with his one true love. We feel his pain. We root for him. We get involved. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Slumdog Millionaire,” aside from its somewhat contrived plot, is the Bollywood-style, whole-cast dance number that plays during the end credits. Sure, it’s trendy and fun, but doesn’t it also undermine the film’s integrity? “Slumdog” is a touching and powerful film that shows us poverty and violence in an India we’ve never seen before, captures our hearts with fantastic romance, and cracks us up with surprising twists and reveals. It’s not the lighthearted teen musical that daytime talk shows, with their almost exclusive focus on that fatuous post-plot boogie, might have you expecting.

Gran Torino
Directed by Clint Eastwood; 2008

THE BEST PART of “Gran Torino” is the moment wherein aged Korean War veteran Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) faces off against an uzi-armed gang of soulless Hmong thugs, and wins — but not in the way you think. In this deftly planned and perfectly set-up climax, we see Kowalski get retribution and find salvation at the same time. The scene is horrible and beautiful, marking both tragic ends and hopeful new beginnings. The second best part of “Gran Torino” is its humor. Blunt, crass and caustic, Kowalski is like a war-hardened Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson’s “As Good as it Gets” character), whose universal disdain and proclivity toward racial slurring are matched only by his underlying desire to, well, be a better man. He never hesitates to insult his teen neighbors Sue or Thao Lor (who tried to steal his Gran Torino) with stereotypes or criticism, nor do they hesitate to call him out for being a mean old reclusive son of a bitch. The result is the kind of charmingly masculine humor you find in movies like “Good Will Hunting,” where the characters show admiration by ragging on each other. When “Gran Torino” isn’t wrenching your heart, it’s making you laugh — a good reminder that life is never completely hard, heavy or dramatic. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Gran Torino” is, quite frankly, the rape of Sue (played brilliantly by newcomer Ahney Her). Strong, sarcastic and smart as hell, Sue is a full, complete and well-written character who brings light into Kowalski’s life (and the film as a whole). Her presence is delightful and important, and you fall in love with her instantly. Then, she’s raped. And it’s not that the rape breaks her; it’s that it quite literally takes her out of the picture. Once a prevalent character, she more or less disappears from the movie — almost as if the filmmakers didn’t know what to do with her once she’d served her purpose in the plot — and this is a shame. In today’s world, we have a responsibility to portray assaulted women as survivors whose lives go on than as mere victims who fade away into oblivion.

Religulous
Directed by Larry Charles

THE BEST PART of “Religulous” is that it’s exactly what you’d want and/or expect from the pairing of no-holds-barred comedian Bill Maher and “Borat” director Larry Charles. It is funny, controversial, kind of smart, kind of pointless, and wholly entertaining (especially if you lean to the left and have agnostic tendencies). In other words, you get what you pay for. Want to laugh at religion and the people who believe in it? See this movie. Fear God? Then don’t. Maher may make some valid points, but the approach and tone of the film is such that it is probably unwatchable by the devout, the orthodox, and the faithful believing masses. Perhaps that’s where it falls down as a documentary. Like the works of Michael Moore (or the people who make films in response to his), “Religulous” is more of a creative thesis than a true documentary. It has no real structure, no compelling narrative, no subtext. Blatant and obvious, it’s only real purpose is to validate the already-held opinions of people who agree with it and alienate those who don’t. High entertainment value, low on the potential-to-inspire-change scale. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Religulous,” therefore, is that it’s not outrageous or spectacular enough. It’s as if the filmmakers thought, perhaps, that it if they maintained some semblance of seriousness and timidity, the film could emerge as a groundbreaking, influential masterwork. Instead, Maher should have thrown caution to the wind and taken it to the fanatical politicos, pious priests and passionate performers “Real Time” style. It would have been great to see him make that cocksure fake Jesus from The Holyland Experience cry.

Feel free to let us know what you think in the comments section.

Taken
Directed by Pierre Morel; 2009

THE BEST PART of “Taken” has to be the sheer amount of throat-chopping whoop-ass Liam Neeson unleashes as Bryan Mills, a “specially skilled” former something secret whose 17 year-old daughter is kidnapped by Albanian slave traders in Paris. Who knew this lanky fifty-something Irishman could be so believably hardcore? Neeson pulls off some fight scenes that make you think he might be able to go head-to-head with Matt Damon in the next Bourne movie (at least for a minute or two). The guts of “Taken” are gritty, exciting and cathartic. With violence so wrong it’s right, you’ll laugh while you cringe. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Taken,” however, is the underdeveloped and entirely unconvincing relationship between Neeson’s character and his daughter, played by Maggie Grace (of “Lost” fame). There’s no chemistry between them, no inside joke or shared character trait bonding them together. An immature, whiny, fickle, spoiled brat, she treats him like an afterthought. You want Mills to win, but you also kind of hope his awful, annoying daughter is offed by a lecherous Sheik. It’s impossible to like this girl and therefore impossible to love this movie.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Directed by Steve Carr; 2009

THE BEST PART of “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” is the physical comedy of Kevin James, a sort-of John Candy/Chris Farley hybrid whose spot-on timing and undeniable talent are the movie’s only saving graces. Apart from a few funny scenes in which James is falling down, doing doughnuts in his Segway, or throwing his weight around, “Paul Blart” is trite. Flaccid, even. The supporting characters are weak at best, the drama is paper-thin, and the jokes are outright tired. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Paul Blart” is the writing, which doesn’t have the heart or soul we’ve come to expect from Happy Madison (Adam Sandler’s production company). Considering the people behind it (and in it), this should have been one of those addictive stupidly silly comedies (i.e. “Dumb and Dumber,” “Tommy Boy,” “Happy Gilmore”) you can watch over and over, quote lines from, and might name in a Facebook survey as your guilty pleasure. Unfortunately, it’s one of those crappy throwaway flicks you don’t need to see even once.

Eagle Eye
Directed by DJ Caruso; 2008

THE BEST PART of “Eagle Eye” is that it’s really just an Internet age “War Games,” and watching everyday humans stop an omnivorous, hyper-intelligent super computer from executing its master plan (in this case assassinating the President, not causing a nuclear holocaust) is always fun. The “technology taking over” idea scares us, so we love when an escapist thriller validates our perceived opposable-thumbed superiority over nonliving things. The second best part is of course the highly watchable Shia LeBeouf, who plays reluctant heroism (see also “Transformers” and “Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull”) with such charisma we ignore his mostly forgettable acting. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Eagle Eye” is how it reveals its antagonist. Before we find out it’s military grade artificial intelligence gone awry, we know it merely as a woman’s voice on the phone. How do we learn the truth? LeBeouf’s character demands to know. Suddenly, the usually all-business computer yields and fills him (and us) in. Kind of ruins the surprise. A reveal should pay off. This one’s just exposition in disguise.

X-Files: I Want to Believe
Directed by Chris Carter; 2008

THE BEST PART of “X-Files: I Want to Believe” is that it’s about Mulder and Scully’s personal demons and their unreconciled relationship. Where the first one set out to confirm Mulder’s conspiracy theories and tie up loose ends in the alien storyline, this one is more of an “X-Files” swansong. A tribute, or homage, if you will, to the fans who may have liked all the creepy, cultish “unexplainable phenomena” stuff, but watched the show because they loved Mulder and Scully and the undeniable romantic tension between them. “I Want to Believe” uses traditional “X-Files” fare (a psychic helps the FBI track down weird people doing weird things) to facilitate their reunion, get them in bed together, drive them apart, and in the end — well, you’ll have to see it to find out. Let’s just say Mulder and Scully (and their millions of fans) finally get some closure. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “X-Files: I Want to Believe” is that it really just feels like an extra-long TV show. While writer/director Chris Carter deserves all the praise in the world for bringing one of the best television couples of all time back to the big screen in a less commercial, more character-driven story, he also gets a little slap on the wrist for not pushing the envelope. The movie is great; it’s just a bit safe.

Doubt
Directed by John Patrick Shanley; 2008

THE BEST PART of “Doubt” has to be the taut, rigorously rich writing of John Patrick Shanley, which carries the film from scene to scene with graceful impact and unadulterated focus, and without ever using the word “molestation.” The term’s absence protects the story — about an otherwise exceptional priest’s devious transgressions and a seemingly icy nun’s devotion to his impeachment — from trivialization and politicization. It keeps it real, personal, and as heart-achingly disturbing as it should be. We don’t learn anything new about the Catholic Church’s most infamous scandal, but perhaps for the first time, we feel deep in our bones how tragic, how deeply contemptuous, it is. Shanley’s fiction — as illustrated through impeccable on-screen performances by Meryl Streep, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams — drives home the sad message that in a cruel world, doubt may be our only hope. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Doubt” is that it might be a touch too much of a “play on screen” than a “movie” for some audiences and Oscar voters. If any film could get unfairly snubbed in the box office or by the academy, this is it. My vote? Best Picture, hands down.

Bedtime Stories
Directed by Adam Shankman; 2008

THE BEST PART of “Bedtime Stories” is its playfulness, which is reminiscent of “Enchanted” (though never as precious) and “Finding Neverland” (with none of its beauty). Adam Sandler reprises his role as crass yet sweet, good-hearted yet self-indulgent, semi-jackass, semi-heroic everydude, and does it with the same comedic charm to which we’re accustomed. With the help of Keri Russell, Courteney Cox, Russell Brand, and a couple of super adorable kids, he takes us on a wistful, preposterous and touching journey through a series of impromptu bedtime stories that come true in unexpected ways. The gags range from kid-friendly slapstick to adult-oriented innuendo, pretty much all of them funny. Of special interest to fans of “Happy Madison” fare (if you are, you know what this means): Rob Schneider makes a ridiculously hilarious cameo appearance. Worth seeing just for this. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Bedtime Stories”? Well, it has one of those predictable, formulaic plots that rely on a clichéd relationship conflict to carry it through to the final act. The whole “gal is led to believe something untrue about guy so she suddenly hates him and he has to win her back” thing is fine for “Full House” reruns, but let’s get this crutch out of major motion pictures.

Hancock
Directed by Peter Berg; 2008

THE BEST PART of “Hancock” is that, however flawed, it manages to create a pretty decent new superhero. Played by the ever-likable Will Smith, the invincible flying Hancock has the necessary character flaws — he drinks, swears and is kind of a jerk — and the required mortal weakness. It’s even pretty unique. Hancock’s Achilles heel, his kryptonite, is a person, a divine soulmate, a female counterpart, the yin to his wang — er, yang. She’s super too, perhaps even more so, but when they get together (and since they are eternally, cosmically drawn to one another, they can’t wholly avoid it), they lose their powers and become, in ways they previously weren’t, human. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Hancock,” though, is what it doesn’t have — what HE doesn’t have — and that’s a villain. The movie tries to establish an evil, omnipresent “they” — you know, the everyday murderous bad guys that plague all of time and every place — but doesn’t follow through. Instead, we get some wacko and a few idiot thugs. Sorry, but rising crime rate isn’t enough of an impending doom to justify a superhero. “Hancock II” needs to give Hancock an arch nemesis.

Ghost Town
Directed by David Koepp; 2008

THE BEST PART of “Ghost Town” is that it never falters in its ability to balance contemporary, character-driven romantic comedy with impossible fantasy. It could cross the line between unbelievable and ridiculous; it doesn’t. It could rely on visual gags or goofy “ghosts causing mischief” humor; it doesn’t. It could apologize for the unlikeliness of its premise; no — it commits, follows through, and achieves. Yes, we’ve seen humans helping ghosts find peace in the movies before, but never like this. It’s nothing like “A Christmas Carol,” or the early nineties “Ghost” or “Ghost Dad.” No, “Ghost Town” is more like a less-dramatic, slightly sillier “As Good As it Gets.” It’s about a guy who’s given up until circumstances beyond his control connect him with the right woman, who in turn makes him want to be a better man. Ricky Gervais shines in the role; his comedic timing and ability to pull off disgruntled, annoyed and impatient are noteworthy. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Ghost Town” is that it might be a tad too subtle. Here and there, Ricky does something hilarious, but tiny. A glance. A mumbled line. A gesture. Fans will look for this stuff, but everyday moviegoers might miss it, and that’s a shame. “Ghost Town” is a really funny, really great movie that a lot of people might think is just okay.