Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Local Scribes, Rick LaClaire
AND YET MORE RANDOM NOTES By Rick LaClaire “Capitalism is the exploitation of man by men. Communism is just the opposite.” — Nikita Khrushchev Yes, another year has passed. They sure go fast, don’t they? It seems like only yesterday I was shaking out my leisure suit, looking for party leftovers. Nowadays I’m more likely to find a suppository wrapper. This phenomenon was best summed up by Bob Dylan. When asked how he felt when he turned the ripe old age of forty, he... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
The Memory Season By Rick LaClaire “It’s Xmas time again/Has it really been a year?” — Joe Jackson, “Tango Atlantico” My wife’s family has an enduring tradition for Thanksgiving dinner. After all are seated and grace is said, each person at the table must say what they are thankful for. Of course everybody says “family” first and then something like “the Buffalo Bills” (if they’re winning) or “the Sabres” (if they’re... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
Wasted Day • Rick LaClaire “And the hangovers hurt more than they used to…” — Hank Williams, Jr. I have a musician friend with a theory about life expectancy. He claims that each of us is born with a preprogrammed number of breaths and heartbeats; that each of us, regardless of how we treat our bodies, is doomed to wear out anyway at a certain specified point. G. Gordon Liddy once said that the maximum mileage of the human machine is 125 years. If you didn’t smoke, drink,... [Read more...]
O, Pioneers! Part IV: Sodbusters • By Rick LaClaire • It is August as I write this… August in one of the driest Florida summers I can recall. You’ve often heard me warn of dry Florida summers — heat, fire, misery… But that’s on the mainland. Beachside’s a different story. Dry summers mean that every day is a beach day. The surf warms and stays that way (unless we get an upwelling — we’ll talk about that some other time). So what if your lawn... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
O, Pioneers! Part III: Across the Great Divide By Rick LaClaire Mosquitoes love my feet. There, I said it. I attract biting insects. It was even this way when I was a kid. I complained to my mother once, and she said it was because I was so sweet. My dad said maybe it was because I smelled like something rotten. For some reason I attract a lot of things, some less onerous than others. For example, babies like me. But then, so do winos and panhandlers. Cats like me. Someone told me cats are good judges... [Read more...]
O, Pioneers! Part II: Southward Ho! By Rick LaClaire Everybody’s heard of Wilbur and Orville Wright, right? You know, the guys who invented the airplane. Some say others invented it, but history books today credit the Wright boys with the first reusable airplane. They were the pioneers of air travel. Now what if, on that blustery December day in 1903, after strapping himself onto that kite with a motor, Orville Wright suddenly changed his mind? What if, at the last minute, he said, “Hey,... [Read more...]
O, Pioneers! Rick LaClaire By the time you read this it will be July and summer. I often write about the seasons in Florida. We do have them, contrary to popular belief, and though it might feel like May in January, there’s no way you’re going to confuse July with anything but July. It’s hot, and it’s gonna stay hot probably till November. If we’re lucky, it rains every day. Yeah, I get sick of the rain too, but it sure beats a dry summer. Those mean only two things:... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
Gardening 102: Tomatoes By Rick LaClaire Melbourne Harbor was a different environment years ago. It was a working harbor; boats were hauled and fitted, sails were stitched, and a number of people (myself included) managed to squeeze a few bucks out of that place. I learned the difference between garboards and leeboards, ship’s logs and shaft logs, a transit and a transom. I got to know the cats and the bums and where to hang when your stomach was growling. Those were wonderful days, and the... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
Gardening 101 By Rick LaClaire “I like to watch things suffer and die slowly. That’s why I garden.” — Spoony Spoonicus By now, everyone has seen the TV series “Malcolm In The Middle.” You can’t miss it. It’s on four times a day. Whether it’s lunch, breakfast or suppertime, if you flick the TV on for company, there it is. Since I usually eat breakfast and lunch by myself, I’ve seen the episodes many times over. The first season was the best.... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
MY PERSONAL GRAMMYS By Rick LaClaire From the time I was a teenager, and until my early 30s, my goal was to be a musician. Not a rock star, per se, but a respected singer and songwriter. Rock stars were meat puppets, in my opinion. They were clothes-hangers and “frontmen,” mere purveyors of the actual art. The art was in the writing, and I began very young. From the get-go, I eschewed anything glitzy. My guitars were old, cheap, and beat-up. I wore jeans and t-shirts when I performed.... [Read more...]
