Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
Gardening 102: Tomatoes By Rick LaClaire Melbourne Harbor was a different environment years ago. It was a working harbor; boats were hauled and fitted, sails were stitched, and a number of people (myself included) managed to squeeze a few bucks out of that place. I learned the difference between garboards and leeboards, ship’s logs and shaft logs, a transit and a transom. I got to know the cats and the bums and where to hang when your stomach was growling. Those were wonderful days, and the... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
Gardening 101 By Rick LaClaire “I like to watch things suffer and die slowly. That’s why I garden.” — Spoony Spoonicus By now, everyone has seen the TV series “Malcolm In The Middle.” You can’t miss it. It’s on four times a day. Whether it’s lunch, breakfast or suppertime, if you flick the TV on for company, there it is. Since I usually eat breakfast and lunch by myself, I’ve seen the episodes many times over. The first season was the best.... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
MY PERSONAL GRAMMYS By Rick LaClaire From the time I was a teenager, and until my early 30s, my goal was to be a musician. Not a rock star, per se, but a respected singer and songwriter. Rock stars were meat puppets, in my opinion. They were clothes-hangers and “frontmen,” mere purveyors of the actual art. The art was in the writing, and I began very young. From the get-go, I eschewed anything glitzy. My guitars were old, cheap, and beat-up. I wore jeans and t-shirts when I performed.... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
Pot ‘O Gold By Rick LaClaire As my readership (Hi, Mom!) alreaady knows, I do not sleep well. At my age this is a common malady, exacerbated by a shrinking bladder and an annoying recurrence of something called “acid reflux.” I have also heard it referred to as acid reflux disease, but I find that description a bit harsh. To me, a disease is something you haplessly blunder into; something you catch. Acid reflux is basically self-induced (What? You mean tequila and birthday cake... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
GROUNDHOG’S DAY By Rick LaClaire Behold, the armadillo. Is there a more incongruous-looking beast? Claws like a mole. Skin like a reptile. A face like a possum and a tail like a pay phone cable. It’s as if a clown designed it on a bet. A strange diet to boot: worms, slugs, and bugs. They’ll even eat fire ants (spicy, I’ll bet). Armadillos are not Florida natives. Decades ago, a few managed to escape a circus sideshow in Cocoa. Apparently they liked Florida, because now they’re... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
Son of Random Notes By Rick LaClaire Long ago I had a boss whose favorite movie was “Some Like It Hot.” I must admit, with a stellar cast including Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, Marilyn Monroe, and Joe E. Brown, it seems only fitting that this flick had its habitués. We spent many hours side-by-side in that sweatshop and he incessantly sang that movie’s praises via scene-by-scene analysis. I had never seen “Some Like It Hot,” but I knew its every nuance, and finally one... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
The Return of Random Notes By Rick LaClaire Once more it is the end of the year, time to evaluate the days that constituted this checkered span we called Twenty-Ten. Or was it Two-Oh One-Oh? Or maybe Two Thousand Ten? You know, up until the twenty hundreds, you never had a problem like this. It was so simple. When it was Nineteen Sixty-Eight nobody ever butted in with “One Thousand, Nine Hundred and Sixty-Eight” or “One, Nine, Six, Eight.” Heck no, it was just plain old Nineteen... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
Truckin’ By Rick LaClaire I walk. Anybody who knows me knows this. Constantly, I’m greeted with “Hey! I seen you out walkin’…” or “Need a lift?” No, I don’t need a lift. I’m truckin’. If you read this stuff, then you know I’m aging (just like you) and you know I suffer from its effects. A good percentage of Americans get fat when they get old. Sorry, but it happens. I am no exception. So what do I do about it? I exercise. Does... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
The Bully • Rick LaClaire • “The most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’” — Ronald Reagan This past August, the Powers That Be massed in Washington to address what they consider a serious issue regarding our school-age children: bullying. A non-issue you say? Not the stuff our politicians should be wading into? Or is their concern legitimate? Your reaction to taunts and shoves on a school bus... [Read more...]
Rick LaClaire
Article Category: Rick LaClaire
The Mean Season • Rick LaClaire • I have a love/hate relationship with September. It is a month of polarities — apogees and perigees of weather, emotion and marine life. It can be good; it can be bad. And it can be very, very bad. Of course when I say “very, very bad,” two particular Septembers come to mind: September 2001, when the dirtiest trick in history was played upon humanity, and that mean season of mean seasons, September 2004. September ’04 is still a fresh... [Read more...]
