Keep Florida Weird

Doughnut Fix
A man was awarded a $37,500 cash settlement after police arrested him for possession of what they thought was meth. Turns out it was doughnut glaze, even though a field test read positive for meth. Only after a second test, done by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, was the substance proven to be sugar. Perhaps it was an innocent mistake, or perhaps the temptation just proved to be too much for those poor officers.

Want a Cookie?
A 70-year-old man was arrested after giving an acquaintance a cookie without telling her that it was laced with marijuana. He was charged with three felonies, booked into jail, and released on his own recognizance. The woman who ate the cookie said she began to feel “woozy” and was taken to the hospital for evaluation. When asked why he didn’t tell her about the marijuana, he said the amount was so small he didn’t think it would affect her. He should’ve just called me, instead!

No Free Pizza
A man grabbed a handful of rocks and threw them through a pizza display case after employees told him they did not have any free food. The employees said he yelled at a waitress when she said she couldn’t give him a free slice of pizza. He was escorted outside by employees, and then started to throw rocks back inside, breaking the case. He was arrested, charged, and ordered never to go back to the pizzaria. Guess he will have to order delivery next time.

We All Scream for Ice Cream

An employee at a McDonald’s was allegedly assaulted due to a broken ice cream machine. The employee informed a group of customers ordering in the drive through that the ice cream machine was down for maintenance. After three of the customers entered the McDonald’s and saw another customer with ice cream, they approached the counter, allegedly grabbed the employee by the hair and struck her. The employee was not injured, the suspects got away, and the ice cream machine is alleged to still be broken.

Pancake Breakfast
A man was charged after sitting in a chair and eating in the middle of a street. Police received a call about a man sitting in a crosswalk with a small table in front of him, eating pancakes. The man was gone when police arrived, but they found out that he lived about 100 yards from where it happened. He was interviewed and admitted he did it as a prank. Police say the man’s actions prevented vehicles from moving and created an obstruction. Fortunately, no cars hit him and turned him into a pancake.

Waffle Run

Police arrested a woman on child neglect charges for letting a 14-year-old boy drive while she was drinking. When she was pulled over the woman said she had five drinks and was too drunk to drive. Police also said there was an open beer in the cup holder of the car. She told officers the teen is her boyfriend’s son, and that she wanted him to drive to Waffle House. Although the call of the waffle is hard to resist, maybe next time she should try Uber.